What would I be without you ?
by senyd
Summary: In one way or another, no matter how hard they have tried, Emily and Alison have always felt captive. After Eliott's psychological torture, Emily sees Alison slowly falling apart. She will give anything to help her heal and set her free from her chains. Little does she know that sometimes, the cure is closer than we thought. [EMISON] following 7x03


_Hey guys,_

I posted a french version of this story a while ago and I received a lot of nice request, asking me if I could possibly translate it. It took me time since I was in hollidays and the chapter is actually quite long, but here he is. So, the story takes place right afer the episode 7x03 and will be mostly focused on Emison, how Emily will help Alison rebuild herself after what Eliott did to her. Hope you'll enjoy :)

PS: Please, keep in mind that i'm not english. I've made the effort to re-read this chapter three times in order to give you guys the best translation I possibly could, but there might be some mistakes. I'm sorry for that.

* * *

 _Chapter 1_

 _Dead to me_

* * *

Emily blinked for a moment, her mouth slightly open and her body shaking. Eliott's body was hanging above her, covering the windshield. His head was falling through the gaping crack, with glassy eyes and blank face.

Emily thought she wasn't breathing anymore. She hadn't seen such horrible scene before. On the front seat, Hanna seemed panicked while behind, Aria and Spencer couldn't make a sound.

During the few seconds that followed the accident, a deep silence settled inside the car. The crash happened so fast, and the impact was so violent, that the calm of this summer night seemed suddenly almost unreal to be true.

Emily was suffocating. The brunette tried to keep her breathing under control; she inspired and expired fitfully without great result. Her stomach was doing back and forth. The military blazer she was wearing stuck to the skin.

Without warning, while the girls were trying to face reality again, the windshield collapsed beneath them. Emily didn't think it twice. She acted by instinct and stood between, forming a barrier over Hanna.

The blonde shook the debris on her friend's jacket, and inspected it in a hurry, worried. Several shards of glass were stuck on her arms, abdomen and chest. But Emily didn't give it a thought. She couldn't. Not when Eliott's body was lying lifeless in front of her eyes, so close that their skin could practically join if they decided to make the slightest gesture.

Emily was convinced that the view of Eliott, with bulging eyes and livid expression, surpassed by far all the horrors of this world;but when she saw the bloodied dribble fall from her lips, she knew she was wrong. The idea made her stomach turn again.

The Swimmer opened the front door and threw herself outside the car. Since the accident, time seemed frozen, but suddenly, it was like her gesture switched it back on. Aria left the back seat, followed by Spencer.

The three girls cautiously took a step towards the body. As Emily and Aria were undecided, Spencer decided to take the lead and dropped off two fingers on Eliott's wrist.

They held her breath.

"He... he is dead." announced finally Spencer, upset.

Her voice, usually serious and calm, was barely recognizable as she was panicking, to the point that the brunette herself had trouble believing that she had spoken.

Aria hold a groan. In everyone's minds, find a way to get out of this nightmare was the only concern. The sound of footstep stirring against the gravel put an end to their reflections. Hanna was standing in front of the car, crying.

"I didn't want... I've never wanted to... it all happened so fas- "

"You'll be okay Hanna, it'll be okay" whispered Emily, holding her briefly in her arms.

Aria approached Spencer.

"We can't stay here." she breathed. "If someone finds the body, Hanna is screwed up. We're all screwed up. What are we gonna do ?"

Aria stared at Spencer with wondering eyes. Since the event, she seemed the best at keeping composure.

It started to rain. With the humidity, their footstep would be more noticeable. It was bad. Very bad. This night was an endless nightmare, and it kept worsen.

"We have to bury the body" muttered finally Spencer after a break.

"What?" exclaimed the brunette. She must have not heard it correctly, right? There wasn't another way.

"We have to bury the body." her friend repeated, her brain suddenly working again on full speed. "If we call the police, we will end up straight in jail."

"Spence, was an accid-"

"They don't care, Aria! It doesn't matter, not for them! We are in the crosshairs for more than seven years. How long do think it'll take to Tanner to accuse Hanna and charge her for murder? With us on top ! "

The other girl remained silent. She hated this idea already, but Aria had to admit that her friend was right. Call the police now was like offer them a seat in jail on a silver plate.

Emily released Hanna, but kept a reasonable proximity with the blonde. Her body was still shaking in her arms. Her breathing seemed stabilized now, but the swimmer could still feel how much her friend was affected by the accident.

"Stay here, I'll be back!" warned Spencer. The other girls watched getting away, with anxiety.

The rain was torrential. Aria could feel her shoes sinking under into the ground. She blinked, in an effort to track of her friend's movement, but gave up eventually. With this flood, the brunette could barely see Hanna, a few meters away from her position.

"Did you see her ?"

Aria interrupted her thoughts, lost. She turned around and focused on Emily. Most of the debris on her blazer had disappeared by now, nevertheless a minority was still stuck on her arms. The injury formed by the shards of glass was superficial, however, she was bleeding profusely which made it impressive. Aria was about to say a word about it. The swimmer got ahead:

"Ali" Emily asked again, suddenly panicked. "Have you seen her after the accident?"

Aria shook her head. Spencer appeared in front of them, out of the blue.

"She will be okay, Em. It's Ali, remember ?" she said quite annoyed - Spencer had always been aware of Emily's special care about Alison, and that, despite time flying by or circumstances, but it seemed to be inappropriate in this very moment. Not when they were about to be accused for a murder - "We have other business to take care." she concludes.

"Other business to take care ? " the brunette cried angrily

Spencer saw a spark cross her friend's eyes, and she knew things weren't going as she had planned.

"Is Ali's life not serious enough for you to matter?"

"Em..."

"I'm not done yet! Eliott was attaching her to her bed, Spencer, he was treating her like an animal! And that's our fault."

Hanna placed a hand on her shoulder in a desperate attend to smooth her friend, but her action had the opposite effect. Instead, it just fed her anger.

"Eliott is dead" she said, this time more calmly even if her entire being was screaming from the inside. -Somewhere in her mind, Emily was aware that they could not afford to put attention to them, allow being dominated by emotions - "he is dead, and nothing we can say or do could ever change what happened. Alison is alive, her. On her own, shocked, drugged and disoriented. Anything could happen to her."

Spencer opened her lips to speak but closed them immediately. She stopped to think for a moment. Her friend had a point: Alison was in danger more than ever with A.D still out there.

A sound brook the silence of the night. A whimper followed, groan that Emily could have recognized in a heartbeat.

 _Alison_

The four girls exchanged a look. Hanna was the first to react. She did not hesitate and sank through the woods, straight to the sound.

The rain slowed their progress. Emily was somehow trying to keep track of them, from behind. Her eyes scanned the forest looking for Hanna. The night was dark enough to reduce objects and edges to simple ghostly shapes. It was like constantly staring at the shadow.

"Alison!"

Spencer was the fastest to arrive. Her heart stopped. The blonde was standing several meters above her position, on top of an unstable rock. The brunette had no idea how she had been able to end up here. To get there, you needed to climb slippery walls, which was particularly dangerous. With this rain, it seemed almost a miracle that she was still alive.

Spencer began to climb. Aria came a few seconds later, followed by Hanna. They located their friend immediately, holding their breath as they realize what was happening.

Spencer almost fell twice, but finally reached the top. Alison jumped, disturbed by her presence. Did Eliott find her and chase over there? Still on the ground, the blonde took a step back.

"I didn't kill Charlotte, I swear!" She cried. "I'm begging you, let me go. Please"

"Alison, calm down. This isn't Eliott. It's Spencer. We need to go, okay? "

Spencer took a step forward and grabbed her waist. This sudden gesture just fed her crisis, now out of control. Alison struggled with all her strength to get rid of her friend's embrace.

"Let me go ! I'm not going back there ! "

"Alison, listen to me please. You need to calm down. You're safe. We'll take care of you now. "

"The drug" reflected Aria out loud, as she realized what was happening." It makes her lose sense of reality."

The tension was overwhelming. Despite her efforts, not only Spencer couldn't reason Alison, but it seemed to make it worse. The blonde slipped trying to escape her, and at that moment, Spencer became suddenly aware of the danger surrounded them.

Behind Alison, just a meter away from her, there was an abyss. Spencer felt her blood froze. She didn't know how to react anymore. If she tried to move and get her, she was afraid to scare her friend again. In the contrary, Alison was still exposed.

For a few minutes that seemed like an eternity, Spencer stayed still. When the blonde seemed to be less agitated, she took a chance.

Bad decision. Alison stepped back brutally.

What Spencer had feared was coming true. It was over. In a few seconds, it was over The shock would kill her on the spot.

Spencer collapsed on the ground. She was so devastated to be responsible of Alison's death that she hadn't heard hasty steps came behind her.

At the last moment, without warning, Emily appeared in front of them and grabbed Alison's arm before she fell.

"Ali?" whispered the swimmer, shaken. She had been so close to lose the girl forever. " You're okay? "

The blonde didn't respond. Instead, she poured a tear and pull Emily in an embrace, as if her life was depending on it - which somehow was the case a few seconds ago.

"Em" she breathed. Her voice was vibrating with distress and fear. "You're there. You came to pick me up? "

"Always" she answered honestly.

Spencer watched the scene carefully. She had always been aware of this special bond, this unspoken connection existing between Emily and Alison, but what she saw at that moment was something completely out of this world to be true.

Despite disorder, confusion and insecurities that Spencer herself hadn't been able to erase, Emily still held the power to heal the Alison, find her mind back.

The blonde slid to the ground. Emily knelt in front of her, as we kneel before a child. This gesture eased Alison. For the first time in forever, Spencer felt her relax.

"Ali"

She turned her attention to Spencer, behind them. With Emily by her side, she had barely noticed the presence of her friend. It wasn't something new. The Swimmer often gave her the sensation to make the whole world disappear around them, like if everything suddenly stopped to exist.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital. To… make sure you are okay"

Alison shivered.

'No. I... I don't want to go there."

Emily immediately felt her discomfort and took her hand.

"Then we'll not, Ali. Breathe for me please, can you do that? "

Spencer decided no longer take the lead. Emily seemed to pass through her, in a way that she couldn't. Alison listened to her, she trusted her.

"Emily" called Spencer. The brunette gave her a look. "We have to go. Take good care of Alison."

The brunette nodded. They girls leaved. They were just the two us.

"Come on"

Alison held her gaze. Emily felt her heart spiked a beat at the view of Alison's icy-blue eyes melting with her own, in the same motion than when they were younger. Innocent even. She was staring at her with such intensity…

"I'mtaking you home." she said, holding her hand.

Alison put her fingers in her own.

For the first time in weeks, Alison finally felt safe.

\- X -

 _Fields' house,_

Standing in the door frame, Emily was anxiously watching Alison. When they arrived, the swimmer installed her comfortably in her bed, but Emily couldn't help but be worried. She left the doorway and made her way to the bed, holding her against her torso. Despite the three covers, the blonde was freezing to death. She probably has caught a cold out there and the drug was just magnifying the symptoms.

Deciding that a hot liquid could help, the brunette left to bring her a drink from the kitchen. Alison panicked. She rushed a hand over her arm to catch her.

Emily gave her a reassuring look.

"I'll be back soon. I promise"

Alison let her go. Her friend returned with a hot cup in her hands. She handed it to her, but the blonde was weak.

Emily pulled her against her chest and helped her drink. Alison seemed exhausted, but the swimmer knew that it would be impossible to sleep in her State. She wondered what she would appreciate in the same situation.

 _A bath._

It seemed absurd, but yet, something was telling her that it would ease Alison. She stood up and grabbed the blonde, encouraging the blonde to follow her.

The swimmer turned on the hot water and waited for the bath to fill. Their wet clothing would probably be a bit uncomfortable, but Emily guessed that it was definitely the last thing that could worry Alison now.

Emily slipped in the bath, holding Alison against her torso. The sensation of the brunette surrounding her, arms around her waist and the hot liquid, warmed Alison's heart.

"Are... are you okay like this?"

Alison nodded. "Yes, it's... nice" she breathed after a break, seeking her words.

Her head fell between Emily's shoulder and her neck **.** The woman shuddered. It was innocent, and yet, this moment felt intimate. With the proximity, Emily could feel the Alison's heartbeat, the heat of their bodies pressed against each other, the slightest curves, with a frightening precision. And just at this idea, it was like she was suddenly turning sixteen again, the shy girl she used to be.

The girl hopelessly in love with Alison DiLaurentis.

"And if there were not another flight?" the blonde asked suddenly.

The question took Emily by surprise. She knew that Alison was referring to the time she came visit her in Welby. For some reason, under the effect of drugs, her mind often seemed to come back to this memory. A part of her couldn't help wondering if it was only the influence of drugs, or if she ever thought of what they would have been. For her, it happened all the time.

"We will take the car. I'll make sure to drive you myself."

Her answer seemed to meet Alison expectation. She smiled.

"Thank you" whispered the blonde.

Emily noticed that her voice was different this time. She seemed sincere, calm even, as if for one second reality had hit her again.

"You saved my life" she added.

"It was nothing."

The alarm rang. Emily pulled herself out of the tub, with Alison. The blonde wasn't shaking anymore now. The color had come back to her face. Emily put a towel on the edge, her old swimming jacket and trousers so she could change.

Emily shut the door. She took a new Jean and T-shirt in a hurry to change and then quickly down stairs to open. Spencer, Aria and Hanna appeared in the doorway.

"How is going Alison?" inquired Aria in is spawning a way through the living room.

"Better."

She nodded. Hanna had not moved since her arrival. Her gaze was so dark, empty, to the point that it was painful to watch.

"We... took care of the body" said Spencer. "Hanna, Aria, and I were especially careful to cover our track."

Emily frowned. Spencer looked pretty devastated. There was the aftershock and the trickle-down of adrenaline obviously, but the swimmer had the feeling there was something more.

"Does it mean we are out of trouble?" she questioned anxiously as she was going up the stairs. The three other followed her.

"We think that someone saw us" dropped suddenly Aria and Emily knew just by looking at Spencer and Hanna's face, that it wasn't how she was supposed to find out.

Emily would have been petrified by this idea if something else, more disturbing even, hadn't caught her attention.

The bathroom door was wide open.

"Ali?" she shouted. "Ali, where are you?"

No answer.

The swimmer ran through the entire floor to find her. Hanna went back to the hall, looking for the blonde.

"No sign of her. She is gone" announced Aria, a few minutes later.

Spencer joined them. She seemed more anxious than ever.

"I've looked around into the neighborhood. Three times" she announced

Their eyes met.

"Alison has disappeared, Em"

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That's all for the first chapter :) I hope you've enjoyed it ! Where do you guys think is Alison ? If you have some theories feel free to write them. I would be more than pleased to read them all. If you have time to leave me a review, it would be awesome !


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